and it was all going so well

Another day, another bout of roomie drama. Once again, over something stupid. I don't deny that part of it is my fault for reacting but seriously....this is not 3rd grade. Get over yourself.

I actually had to go online and look up the definition of "mean" as in "you're being mean" so that I could see if I actually had it right. I do but obviously, "mean" means different things for us. Or maybe I was being mean. I don't know and I've long given up trying to figure out how it works in her world. I guess it's just like how "self-reflective/aware" and "hypocritical" have different meanings for both of us. Or even "good housemate" or "difficult/not easy to live with."

I can't wait for when she's gone in summer. I've been told (and my conscience wouldn't allow me to do it anyway) that I can't just kick her out without giving her a chance to work it out first but I can dream, right? I wish I was in a position to move out but I'm not so I can foresee another year of this bs. Hopefully since I'll be working, things will even out because I won't have to see her much. That was how this week went until she got on my case. I dunno. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Or start playing the lottery in hopes of winning a jackpot and being able to afford to move out. Either one. I'm not fussy.

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Whirlwind to the finish line

It feels like I've been caught up in a tornado and I'm not sure when I'm ever going to feel solid ground under me again.

March ended on a hectic but good note. Had a great St. Patty's day (on of the biggest celebrations here in Honolulu.....don't ask me why) before heading off to Asia the next day.

Got in to Taipei to spend about 5 days over eating and sightseeing. Not bad. Timun joined me and Jimmy tried to show us the highlights of Taipei which included ladies night at the biggest nightclub in town, Myst, and an evening of karaoke. lol.

From Taipei the next stop was KL. Spent most of it hanging out with Charl and buying shoes....sigh. This always happens when I go back to KL nowadays. Went for Grandpa's 100th day ceremony and Ching Ming stuff then off to KK for the wedding and a lot of good food. 

After KK it was back to Taipei to catch a flight to Honolulu. Extremely hectic two weeks with barely any rest in between sightseeing, pigging out, hanging out, shopping, and trying to get that stupid thesis done. It was probably the best vacation I've taken in the last three years. Actually, it's the only vacation I've taken in the last three years. But that's going to be rectified soon. Hopefully.

Got back to Honolulu and dived straight into the SAAs. 3000+ archaeologists in Waikiki with access to alcohol. The week was a blur. But I did get to network, got to know some people better, and met up with a lot of people in my field as well as old professors and friends from college.

That said, the SAAs were probably the most confusing time for me this semester. Since the start of the sem, I've been waffling over the direction my future should take and although it's changed over the last few months, the SAAs gave me whiplash with all the feedback I've gotten from everyone I talked to. So many possibilities and hope.

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Guh....

What is it about cute, responsible, well-spoken, athletic guys becoming even more attractive when they're good with kids?!??

Argh! Ovary  explosion!

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What do you mean it's March?!?

Where did February go?

I've been trying to finish up but failing terribly at it. Self imposed deadlines keep getting pushed back and now I'm literally at the end of my grace period. Why, oh why do I keep procrastinating? Coulda shoulda woulda can't help me now but.....hindsight, right?

Feb has been trying for me. Stressed out and falling sick, I spent a week in total lock down (which didn't really help as much as it should have....and gave me a sore back n butt) and the rest of Feb trying to write, keep up with classes, internship, hosting some ill-timed guests, and just ....life. I've lost track of time and days and everything seems to be creeping up on me....deadlines, homework, Warrior Dash.....

I am super over grad school right now. I'm not sure how people do it. All I want to do is get done and do nothing for a long while after. lol.

So close and yet so far. sigh.

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kids: best (cute) birth control ever!

Spent part of this afternoon helping to coach youth rugby for the first time.

Personally, I thought it would be easy and the kids would be adorable since the age range is 6-13.

It was certainly something. I haven't really had to deal with kids in the past few years and boy, do I feel out of practice. Also, teaching a bunch of kids how to do anything.......its like herding cats. There's no other way to explain it. Herding a bunch of ADD kittens.

It was interesting, it was funny. It was also a little frustrating. Especially when I got thrown in to loosely ref a quick 4-on-4 touch thing with kids who range from pretty good to devastatingly bad in a facepalm way. Also, 6-13 is actually a pretty large age range AND body size range. It was kinda frustrating but hilarious.

Why am I doing this when I have to finish writing? 

While the baby fest my peers have been participating in have apparently been giving me the warm and fuzzy "I kinda want one, maybe" nesting feelings, an afternoon with a bunch of snarky little boys has effectively dampened it to a manageable level of "awww. how cute. lemme pet it and then you can take it away."

I guess everything has a purpose, huh?

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barley kut teh

That moment in life when you realize too late that the pot you're using to make barley has flavored said barley with the aroma and a hint of that bak kut teh taste from the bkt that was previously cooked in it.  Despite being washed like four times after the bak kut teh was done. Despite passing a sniff test AND getting a rinse before the barley was put in.

barley kut teh. where it tastes like barley but every time I go in to take a sip, it smells like I should be getting bak kut teh instead.

it's weird, it's indescribable, and it's kinda blowing my mind but there are starving children in the world right? waste not, want not and all that jazz.

Somehow, barley kut teh accurately sums up the crazy that has been my life this January. Not quite going my way but not really all that bad either.

hmmmm.

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fragile yet volatile, it's sad when they don't last

Well, I'm glad your yelling at me and twisting things around makes you feel better.

How do I land these types of friends/housemates again? Living alone seems like a very good option right about now.

Won't lie. Part of me is sad but a larger part is apathetic. This friendship has kinda been over for a while...at least for me it has. I'm glad you feel better blaming it on me but to be honest, mine is the fourth friendship you've lost since you've been here. Some of it is my fault but there's a pattern and it's pretty telling. There's too much drama and not enough owning up to things. Empty apologies thrown out now in blanket form don't count when you don't even know what you're apologising for. Also, thank you for throwing what was a sincere offer back in my face. For someone who is so "self-reflective" and "communicative," you obviously need to work on it a lot more. However, that said, I wish you all the best and seriously, good luck in trying to get your life together.

Here's to what started off as a beautiful friendship and just completely fell apart. I haven't had many of these in my life but as always, lesson learned.

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NYE

I had wondered, briefly, why I don't remember how I had celebrated the last two NYEs in Hawaii. It came to me later - I was in the bay area both years. And it made me miss celebrating Christmas and NYE in SF. A lot.

Hawaii can be pretty awesome but their NYE celebrations were definitely lacking. In hind sight, Waiks would have been the best place to celebrate it. With my intense dislike of tourists, that should tell you something about self-titled "party of the year" that I ended up going to. lol.

What I spent my NYE doing - listening to bad music, tottering around a damp and slightly muddy park by the waterfront in heels (never again), long lines for overpriced drinks that were limited to one per person per purchase, a countdown that started at 25 secs instead of 10 secs til, highlights including a ferris wheel and a mechanical bull ride, and a fireworks display that was all boom but could have been prettier. All this while running around with a gimp on crutches and a bunch of frat aged guys who kept getting lost and picking up horribly slutty tourists (one of whom was pretty rude because she thought I was shouldering in on her hook up for the night. Lady, you're welcome to him). All in all, it was a dash of city and a whole lot of country, Hawaiian style....basically amounting to a fairly frustrating night. lol. There's no way to accurately describe it. You would have had to have been here to understand the overpriced oxymoron that is a NYE block party in Hawaii.

It brought me back to my undergrad days and I could not have wished any harder for a cheaper, more mellow start to the year surrounded by friends and family. It wasn't all bad; I got to know a couple of the guys better (before they got super wasted. lol), I had a chance to start my year off by doing something nice for a couple of strangers, and had closure on an issue or two that was plaguing me. Beyond that, it made me realize how much I miss my friends and family and renewed my resolve to get so face time in soon. My semi-shitty night also reminded me of how much I appreciate everything and everyone in my life and how much I don't like running around and partying like I'm 21 again. lol.

Next year, I will get to the bay area/spain or die trying. lol. As much as I love the rugby team and Hawaii, I can do without a repeat performance of NYE 2012. 

Happy New Year! Hope yours was a lot better than mine!

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