One Year and Change

Wow. The last time I was on here was April 2013! I can't believe it's been over a year!!

2013 was a trip. The last year has been incredibly trying but immensely rewarding as well. A year really can make all the difference. So, UPDATE of my crazy year and then some!

I left off in April.....hmmm. Let's see if I can remember what the rest of 2013 looked like.

In 2013, I.....

> Started a part-time job at the museum as a collections tech. Fun :)
> Helped coach some high school rugby at a campus with a view.
> Completed an internship with HHF and subsequently completed my certificate in Historic Preservation.
> Defended my thesis......but didn't graduate.....long story....was very confused.
> Went to a wedding and managed to spend some time with my fav Bay Area peeps!
> Tried out an aerial intro class. It was awesome and one day I'll get to it.
> Cat-sat for the first time in my life. Little did I know that cats can be pretty high maintenance...
> Outsourced a portion of that cat-sitting :D Outsourcing shit is amazing!
> Started a second part-time job doing CRM. Because 1 part-time job wasn't enough. Obviously.
> Renewed my greencard!! Yay! Not illegal!
> Got to tour Doris Duke's Shangri-La for free!
> Got re-introduced to Kpop as a music choice.....uhhh....no comment.
> Had moar roomie drama and then experienced that feeling of euphoric freedom that comes with the roomie-from-hell moving out voluntarily! But of course she'd screw us over as a farewell gift. That B*.
> Had a shovelbum-ish stint via my CRM job. Yeah, no. But apart from the rotting deer carcases along our transects, Maui was pretty.
> Lost a hubcap to a pothole. Thanks Honolulu.
> Went surfing for the first time ever!
> Had an awesome Christmas with some kickass people.
> Tried to work on thesis...grad school is depressing. 
> Obviously had to say goodbye to some friends because that is the nature of being in school and being on an island. But, met some amazing people and made them friends :)

All in all, kind of a stressful year but there were some great moments there too!

2014 was just as eventful. I.....

> Had a great start to the year with my rugby girls.
> Went for a conference in Cambodia and got to go home for CNY right after! Spent some time with friends and family in both countries just catching up with all my fav (and not so fav) people and eating my weight in comfort food.
> Had to adjust to a new bro-in-law.
> Went on a family trip for the first time in about 8-9 years.
> Started traveling once more. Vietnam with the family, Busan and Seoul with couchsurfing and airbnb. Traveling is definitely going to be a staple in my life once again. I think I've sufficiently recovered from the epic 2008/9 couchsurfing tour of Eastern Europe and the Balkans.
> Had to deal with a bunch of admin BS from the uni, financial aid, etc. Swore off a PhD at UH.
> Spent an awesome week in Hilo doing research with some fun (and funny) people, listened to coqui frogs serenade us in the boonies, and got edumacated in country music (aka torture. pls, make it stop. I don't think your tractor's sexy!).
> Spur of the moment Easter meant a chill time with friends. Could definitely use more of those in my life.
> Tried a TRX class. I definitely need to start that shit. and aerial. and yoga, and......
> Kona Rugby trip, 2.0. Not as fun but pretty interesting all the same.
> GRADUATED!!!!!! effing finally.
> Mum and Charl come for graduation and stayed on to visit. I have never shopped more in my life. in one week.
> House-sat and dog-sat for the first time. As expected, dogs are more high maintenance than cats and doggie daycare is a thing and is incredible.....also, dumb but lovable labradoodles are dumb but lovable. And can cause heart attacks when they escape.....also, also, I am a gullible fool and animals apparently can smell it on me. Totally got trolled several times by that doodle. Many life lessons learnt. 
> Indulged once more in one of my first loves when I hit up the McKinley Friends of the Library book sale and bought about a bazillion cookbooks, sci-fi/fantasy fiction, and Hawaiian arch books. I might have a book problem....
> Realized that I'm essentially a single mom of three....which became four once summer started and Wei got here to start her internship.
> Started pole back up again. Our on-off relationship is now back on :)
> Going back to being more social now that I'm done with school.
> Got a real job. Kinda. Just scored the Collections Manager position at the museum. I'm moving up in the world :P I'm really excited but slightly apprehensive. Guess I'll be in HI for a few more years.

One year. So much change, so many ups and downs. I do regret some things but for the most part, it's a learning curve I just gotta keep up with and learn from. I'm setting new priorities and goals in life and the changes/improvements are noticeable. The lower stress levels are definitely a plus for 2014. The rest of the year looks pretty good so it can only get better from here :) I can't believe it's been (only) one year!

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When it gets to be too much

I don't get it. How is it that you make such a calculative distinction and yet still believe you're the greatest friend in the world, all sunshine and butterflies?

where having me drive you is the preferred option to borrowing the car. 

Having me drive you means you don't have to pay for gas because I'm doing you a "favor"

versus

Borrowing the car (and not wasting my time, at your convenience) means that you will have to put in a couple dollars, probably not more than five, towards gas costs. FYI, gas is about $4.50 a gallon.

You skirt around the issue, trying to get me to stumble into the outcome you want. And you call me manipulative.

Nope. I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm done selflessly offering favors for free. I can't count how many favors I have given you. I'm done with the American mentality of using people because you can, it's America, it's what you're entitled to. 

Why should it cost ME time/money every single time to do YOU a favor?

Sigh. While many of the people I have met and become friends with over the years are amazing people, it feels like sometimes, America and some Americans are slowly destroying my soul. Every year is one more step towards being jaded and more disillusioned. Every year, I want to give less of myself to be taken advantage of and trampled. I want to be able to do something decent for someone and not have people react like they can't understand why somebody would go out of their way for other human beings. I obviously need to find new friends.Or distance myself from the current troublemakers (work in progress). I miss the supportive network I had on the mainland. I'm finding a new one here but like all good things, it is slow going.  But it gives me hope :)

Life really isn't bad at all but it's the little things that slowly build up where that one final piece breaks the camel's back and everything comes tumbling down. Today was my final piece, hence the annoyed and slightly sad/introspective mood that sparked this rant. It's still instinctive for me to help people out whenever I can but I'm getting more self protective when I do it. It's times like this when I miss Asia and the Asian collectivist mentality/society the most. America is awesome, but there really is no place like home.

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youtube + emails = introspective?

I've been spending a lot of time on youtube. There are a lot of ridiculous people out there just waiting to entertain me with their random talents and antics :D It kinda makes me think about my own talents and antics.... like being able to sort rocks in a short amount of time....and (totally unrelated), throwing them at ppl....urm, yeah.  Just got an email from my advisor listing the new students coming in under her with a message to contact them and welcome them. I'm all for it. I love showing people around and helping them get adjusted. Seriously, just give me a soapbox right now; I'd happily prattle for hours. If this academic gig ever bombed, I'd be great supervising refugee camps or integrating new immigrants or something. lol. I'm actually really excited about the coming year and I know I'm going to be exploring the island a lot more since my roomie from last year's excavation at Angkor is going to be here for a year on the Luce program. Mita is awesome and we're totally gonna have a blast.

But, this message kinda twinges. It's one of those times when some of that low self-esteem left over from my middle/high school days rears its ugly head. I think about how the past and future students coming into the program all received/will receive such a welcome or something like it and wonder why I didn't qualify for one. I'm doing great in the here and now and life has always had a way of falling into place exceptionally well for me but sometimes it's the little things that make me wonder why I keep getting left behind every so often; why I seem to lose out on certain aspects of life that I never realize I'm missing out on until after the fact. It's a little funny and I'm positive a large part of it is just me being oblivious but it does make me wonder. I'm sure it happens to all of us at some point but it doesn't stop me from feeling sad for a little bit. It does however, make me count my blessings and be thankful for everything in life, every person I've met and every experience - good and bad. It reminds me to get off my butt and appreciate living life; to try and live it to the fullest extent.

Lol. there's my little introspective spiel on easter sunday.  Happy Easter guys!

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