When it gets to be too much

I don't get it. How is it that you make such a calculative distinction and yet still believe you're the greatest friend in the world, all sunshine and butterflies?

where having me drive you is the preferred option to borrowing the car. 

Having me drive you means you don't have to pay for gas because I'm doing you a "favor"

versus

Borrowing the car (and not wasting my time, at your convenience) means that you will have to put in a couple dollars, probably not more than five, towards gas costs. FYI, gas is about $4.50 a gallon.

You skirt around the issue, trying to get me to stumble into the outcome you want. And you call me manipulative.

Nope. I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm done selflessly offering favors for free. I can't count how many favors I have given you. I'm done with the American mentality of using people because you can, it's America, it's what you're entitled to. 

Why should it cost ME time/money every single time to do YOU a favor?

Sigh. While many of the people I have met and become friends with over the years are amazing people, it feels like sometimes, America and some Americans are slowly destroying my soul. Every year is one more step towards being jaded and more disillusioned. Every year, I want to give less of myself to be taken advantage of and trampled. I want to be able to do something decent for someone and not have people react like they can't understand why somebody would go out of their way for other human beings. I obviously need to find new friends.Or distance myself from the current troublemakers (work in progress). I miss the supportive network I had on the mainland. I'm finding a new one here but like all good things, it is slow going.  But it gives me hope :)

Life really isn't bad at all but it's the little things that slowly build up where that one final piece breaks the camel's back and everything comes tumbling down. Today was my final piece, hence the annoyed and slightly sad/introspective mood that sparked this rant. It's still instinctive for me to help people out whenever I can but I'm getting more self protective when I do it. It's times like this when I miss Asia and the Asian collectivist mentality/society the most. America is awesome, but there really is no place like home.