what a day

Today was weird. seriously.

It started off blah, went to shit, and now I can't stop grinning.

My nose was running all day but I can't figure out what bit of Hawaii I'm allergic to. It's driving me nuts.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing but I'm apparently the new VP of the Anth Grad Student Association. Huh. I accepted the nomination cos I was thinking, what the heck, there are 4 other ppl running, I'm never gonna win. Oops? lol. I can't back out now and I'll have to reshuffle my entire schedule in order to make meetings and what not. I guess it'll look good on the CV but now I gotta find some pet projects I want to foster.

I also tried to track down my missing check. I think it's incredibly sad that ppl say "What did you expect? It's UH" when things go wrong here. But in that sense, they're right. I wasn't even surprised to find out that UH, in revamping their fiscal system, managed to take a system that worked just fine and "upgraded" to a system that sucks balls. Big, dirty, unwashed, hairy balls. Seriously. Of course the upside of it is that the ppl who work at UH are incredibly nice and apologetic for all the dumbassery that happens almost on a daily basis here. That's nice but I have to pay rent tomorrow. Stop screwing me over and gimme my moneh UH!! It sucks that I can only shake my fists, shake my head, more exasperated/resigned than angry, and think about how UH has been fucking me over since before I even got here.  

Despite the issues of today, the roommate sagas are finally producing entertainment. Kinda. Just minding our business in the middle of the night when the house starts shaking like we're experiencing an earthquake. A rather......rhythmic earthquake. Hmmm. The Jap roomie runs out of her room and starts panicking and freaking out about it.....until LA roomie and I calm her down and inform her that Hawaii doesn't get earthquakes. It's just the newest roomie going at it with her new bf.  ROLF. Earthquake. Oh, Jap roomie, I love you. You just made my night. :D Also, note to self, apparently vigorous sexy times might literally bring the walls down in this rickety old house. Good to know.

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Apparently allergic to moldy blueberries. Who knew? Can't stop sneezing. FML

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Here's another random update :)

Hello friends! Life has been hectic as usual. Spring break was well intentioned but fell short of my expectations of getting ahead in my schoolwork. It might be the fact that I ended up sleeping and lazing around for three days straight...hmmm. The fact that I can't remember what happened the rest of the week means it was prolly just as unproductive. lol. Actually, I lie. I do remember Thursday well. Only because I ended up spending about 5 hours or so counting teeny tiny landsnail shells at Bishop. Random fact: Oahu has more than 300 types of landsnails which is more landsnail diversity than all of mainland America. Titillating, I know. Look forward to more random snail facts cos apparently I'm on loan to the malacology dept indefinitely. And while I wasn't there, the anthro dept decided to put my face on a recruiting flyer.....because I looked so happy counting stone flakes. lol. Check it out.

Don't I look super happy to be counting rocks? lol. And can you believe I've graduated to counting snails? It's surprisingly soothing, even if it's tedious.

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V

 Yeah, totally spent a couple of hours doing that. Worked out a sophisticated way of counting too. The anal retentive side of me totally enjoyed filling up all those squares. Don't deny it, you would have done it too.

I think there might have been a picnic/bbq or two ...or three...thrown in there somewhere. However I wasted Spring break, it is obvious that I didn't get much done. Not homework or cleaning or decorating. I did however, go on a bit of a shopping spree. Ohh, yeah, I also spent about 4 hours in a baking frenzy where I made sour cream coffee cake (and experimented with making coffee cake cookies. Lemme tell ya, the cookies rocked!), banana bread, whole wheat crackers, artisan bread, coconut macaroons, and strawberry jam. My housemates either think I'm crazy or I'm evil for contributing to the American conspiracy of making them fat. I won't lie about the conspiracy but I'm pretty sure my baked goods have not been that large a contributing factor. That pretty much sums up my spring break.....which is pretty sad actually....oh well.

As useless as spring break was, I think I might have hit my grad student stride (if that actually exists) this week because I've suddenly kinda lost interest in surfing the internet aimlessly in favor of catching up on work. I'm not sure what happened. Or if its related to me feeling exhausted at like 10pm and going to bed like the little old cat lady I am at heart. I'll never know but for now, with all my deadlines, I'll take it.

In other news, summer plans are looking up and hopefully, I'll head to KL and Siem Reap for free :) Yay!

Oh, and pole is awesome. The girls are great and we had an event where we demo'd some moves and pretty much just played on the pole for hours to get people interested :) (and I just realized how bad that sounds in a "that's what she said" kinda way. lol. but whatev) I'm moving up the levels and can't wait to get to the advanced stuff. Here's where I'm at now.....I guess it's intermediate? I dunno. But it's fun!

 Laterz!!

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It's funny, the difference a few months can make.

Was supposed to complete that half finished draft about summer that is just sitting there but then I got caught up in reading all the drafts that I never posted (there are a surprising number of them) and most probably will not post, ever. Reading through them, they're probably my best writing pieces. As disjointed as some of them can be, they're highly personal, emotional and entirely un-PC. lol. It seems like I didn't blog all that much over summer but looking back, I've actually been very productive; especially since I think this past summer has been a tremendous growing experience for me and I'm more comfortable just being me. I know that sounds a little funny, particularly since I'm pretty damn old to be having epiphanies of self-awareness and all that mumbo jumbo but that's the best explanation I can come up with. I'm definitely a lot happier to be in Hawaii and more than a few people have noticed it. Which means.....lots of happy posts coming your way! yay!

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seriously, wtf??!? What is with the end of the world type natural disasters?

So the power cut off around 5 ish and didn't come back on until like 8pm. Not too bad but it's the first time something like this has happened and we didn't know how long it would last.

Of course it had to happen when I have a final and powerpoint presentation due.

And of course, it had to happen just before dinner. Because if cooking wasn't already fun, try doing in the dark is even better. For some reason, it's kinda hard to tell if water is boiling in the dark, especially when it's storming. I'm super thankful for the fact that the stove is gas. Otherwise, I'd starve. for realz. 'Cause I haven't been grocery shopping in close to 3 weeks and all I have is canned or dried stuff. I think it is safe to say that my tendency to stock up on food has saved me from starvation many, many times. Too bad none of it can be eaten as is. Hence the cooking in the dark.

Anyway, power came back on and that was awesome. I went online to check what was up with the screwy electricity. Turns out it was only just a LIGHTNING STORM/TORNADO/WATERSPOUT thingy...no big deal, whatev.........

No seriously, WHAT??

First a tsunami (and while Honolulu wasn't hit badly, a couple houses and cars got washed into the sea on some of the other islands. seriously, sucks for them. how do you recoup your stuff/mortgage/losses when your beach front property is under water/bobbing along in the ocean?) and now a couple of waterspouts/tornados??!?

WTF. It's like, welcome to paradise! Here, have a little sun, sand, TASTE OF THE APOCALYPSE, waves, hula, island music. Aloha and Mahalo. Hope you enjoyed your stay!

Come on Hawaii, the world can end after I'm done with finals. Gimme three days and I won't mind sirens, natural disasters and blackouts. Promise.

Have to admit tho, the pictures are kinda pretty, slightly breathtaking. I can understand why some people chase storms. Here's what some friends took with their iphones from their dorm/on the street. And the bigger ones are what I got off the net.

        

 

Apparently this is a lightning storm over Kailua

This is Waikiki

 

Waikiki and downtown Honolulu

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like a goldfish...

Seriously, shortest attention span ever.

I've got 3 25 pg papers, 2 powerpoint presentations, a final and a ton of Khmer homework to catch up on ....all due within the next 6 days!!

Why was I stalking my new celeb crush last week instead of doing work??? Aahhhh.

Luckily, this insanity has only lasted for a week....I'm kinda over it now. Which is insane because seriously? GOLDFISH. and really, it's not all that different from my attention span regarding boys. lol. that says a lot about my dating life, doesn't it? Aside from my inability to keep an interest in the guys around me, the last week's been a bit nostalgic. I think the last time I had a celeb crush was in high school. aah, those were the days.....urm. yeah.

So really, what has this experience taught me?
a) I'm super shallow. lol. As attractive as someone's talent is, it's all about the looks. haha :p and yeah, it's really really hard to fangirl over someone who's physical attributes you can kinda admire but you're not really attracted to.
b) The fangirls/fanboys of today are very, very, very, very hardcore (especially in the tween age range. They are Crazy MoFos and are obsessive as heck!)  Meep. It scares me. Someone please tell me I was never as obsessive as that. If I were their parents, I'd invest in some very expensive, very intensive therapy asap. Hmm, makes me wonder about the numbers of psychos out there who start out as obsessive fans....or maybe I watch too many crime series...
c) I discovered twitter AND tumbler. At the same time. I still don't really know how it all works but it also freaks me out. I'm technologically challenged and in some ways I'm glad for it because my foray into the madness that is twitter AND tumbler (tumbler in particular) has shown me that technology has made it ridiculously easy to stalk someone (not that I didn't realize this before....I just didn't realize how hardcore it was) 

Lol. And that ladies and gentlemen, was my daily musing on life/ random rant/words 'o wisdom/word vomit/i need to sleep to make sense moment because I'm procrastinating over trying to write a paper...one more weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek and it'll be over!! yay!

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ohhhhhh KARMA!

Man, this week has been pretty malang (in the broadest sense of the word) for me and some of my highschool friends. This bad luck we attribute to karma for making fun of certain people continuously. (It's prolly not karma at all but we like to have a scapegoat for our chronic unluckiness in life and love. We're trying to rehabilitate ourselves and be better people (I swear!!) but we can't help it when they make it soooooo easy. It's an issue of will power - we just don't have enough and can't resist.

Anyway, the karma manifests in different ways for us - some hilarious, some oddly painful and some, downright depressing. lol. It's gotten to be an ongoing phenomena that messes with our lives so much that we've started keeping a weekly score. Whomever "suffers" the worst karma "wins." I think this week's collective total is:

Jon managed to sustain an injury a day. No seriously, he got hurt at least once a day....which is kinda funny cos he's such a wuss about it.

Timun got an infection (I have no idea where and I don't really want to know) and had to work overtime then had to go for some company treasure hunt at 6am in the morning. I'll throw in her working CNY too just cos that kind of suckyness carries over.

Our resident KPC (kay po/ busybody) experienced an allergic reaction after eating expired (!!) abalone. (Seriously, wtf expired abalone?!?!)  Then she caught a cold and fever.

I grated my knuckle (yes, just one) while making lemon cream then proceeded to slice that same finger on the lid of a can while making hummus. Both were bleeders that did not help my culinary endeavors meaning that it took me twice as long to make food and i had to starve for like 3 hours longer than I should have.Then today, I get a creepy fb message from a fairly creepy highschool acquaintance I just added (only cos my other highschool friends added him. shit. should have just left him hanging with the rest of the creepers on the friend request page. and no, that's not mean at all. if they're still in limbo, they can't re-request after you ignore the first one. hah! take that facebook!).

That totally fulfilled the weekly quota of "random creepy message/friending from random creepy guy." Yeah, I have a weekly quota. Because apparently, the only guys who are ballsy enough to inquire about my availability are the ones nobody wants! wtf. seriously, fml. i need to work on this single thing. Especially since I have managed to fall down that magical rabbit hole to end up in a state where it seems like wearing a shirt is optional and people like to randomly strip. In fact, I'm pretty sure you can judge the distance to the beach (or if you're on the right bus heading to the beach) by how much (or little) people are wearing.

Anyway, if I manage to contract tetanus then I win hands down because that would be pretty tragic. If not, then I think KPC deserves to win this week's round cos seriously, EXPIRED ABALONE. 'Nuff said.

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oh god.

hysterical housemate and creepy laughing housemate are apparently one and the same.

and she's flirting and laughing outside my window right now. 

why?? whyyyyy??

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I went out into the crazy jungle that is the Lyon Arboretum in Manoa Valley on sat for my field mapping class. I knew there'd be mozzies so i came prepared.

Apparently, I wasn't prepared enough.

My left hand has 21 bites up to my wrist and the right is marginally better with about 12 and I think I got bitten 7 times over my right eyebrow......balls. They're itchy as heck and it looks like i've got some strange disease.

Also, I picked up a printer at a garage sale.....and it took me about half the day to get it working with my computer.....lol. special. 

In other news, despite being fed and watered regularly, I've been perpetually hungry in my room since Sunday. Why?? Erm...I picked up a couple of pandan leaves from some random pandan plant in the jungle mostly just cos I could/the aunty in me couldn't resist!...and I have a tendency to eat things off trees/plants whenever possible...um, yeah....Anyway, depending on how hungry i am, my room smells like pandan jelly or nasi lemak.....or a combination of pandan, peach and banana......don't ask...i don't even know....

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sleep deprived but loving it :)

wow. longest commute ever. took me 2 and a half hours to get back to San Jose from Berkeley O.o I need to remember that the bus route is longer on the weekends. Gah. Anyhow, lunch with Van and Vaish was good - great day, awesome patio spot and delicious food; La Note always delivers :) I'm glad I made it even with the horrible commute both ways. I hope everything goes well for Vaish in LA but I'm not envious at all....I have never wanted nor will I ever want to live there...the smog in the valley just kills me :(

It's back to the con in a bit. Last night was pretty damn mellow for a Friday night at con. Like really mellow. No one playing with fire, no drunken hockey team and no dumb ass underaged girls tempting perverts by going up deserted stairwells in short skirts at 3 am in the morning. I do have to say tho, we've got a lot of newbies and while it means good things like shorter hours and what not, it sort of annoyed me. We had too much traffic on the radio, there was a surprising lack of common sense some times and our newly acquired lounge was a pig sty. So gross. I totally left passive aggressive notes about cleanliness. LOL. I also think I may have gotten hit on by a closeted gay (maybe bi?) guy who insists that he is comfortable with his sexuality or a really, really, really awkward straight anime nerd. Whatever it was, it was 3am and I could not be bothered to figure it out (and I totally zoned out on him about 5 mins in). Surprisingly, there were a couple of hot guys....except they came attached to some very fierce and vampy asian girls...sigh, go figure.

Hopefully the rest of the con will be as mellow as it was last night :)

p.s: Once again, the neighbours are asses. The fight last night brought 4 cop cars to our front door and it started up again at 8am!! Was tempted to ask one of the cops to drop me off downtown....because seriously, their lame ass domestic disturbance did not need 4 cop cars. However, the walk through dodgy downtown san jose last night was wonderful...in a dodgy sort of way - 25 badly lit blocks and I never got harassed once. Awesome :)

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Sometimes, it really just comes down to timing.

Had a great time with Julie and Rachel today catching up and gossiping for hours on end. I think I may have blabed a little too much, I was so excited to see them again. I can't believe we let it go for a year. We definitely need to keep in touch more.

Anyway, we were just leaving Santana Row when Rachel called and said she had a flat. We found her and I offered to change it for her but she has AAA so we just waited with her for the AAA guy. Out of nowhere, a firetruck pulls up and 4 hot firemen get out and offer to help. We told them that we had already called AAA but I guess they really wanted something to do so they started to change the tire. Unfortunately, AAA shows up right about then and the firemen leave (looking fairly put out at having their rescue attempt interrupted).....

So yeah, it's all about the timing. The firemen should have driven by before she called AAA. It would have worked out much better for us that way - the perfect end to a great day :D lol.

Queena, this made me think of you and your love of firemen. My friends and I agree, they're hot.

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huh

Huh. I was up before 2pm today for the first time in.......a long time. Why? Because I got a job through craigslist that'll last for the week (Yes, I am that desperate to be doing something, anything and get paid for it). Huh. I can't believe I'm going to be waking up early in the morning for the next few days...it's kinda surreal. Which just means that I've been unemployed and bumming for waaaaaaay too long.

An offer just came in to do some fieldwork in Cancun for the next two months.....I really want to go. Especially since everything is comped except for the flight. I wish I had the money and didn't have to tie up loose ends here in California. This sucks. When I'm kicking it for months on end, nothing happens but the minute I have plans, a world of opportunities opens up. Sigh. Story of my life.

Anyone wanna fly me to Cancun??

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Yes, I'm really gonna start the travel series. yay!

I’ve only just started to arrange my travel memorabilia which is very telling in terms of my slacker ways. I went to Europe at the end of July 2008!! As it is, since I am a creature of habit and I like to obsessively make lists (no really, I am constantly making lists and schedules that I tend to stare at periodically (whilst sighing) and never follow), I’m gonna start off my travel series with the summer of 2008 because from then on, it was all just one big holiday. Can’t say it was a restful one but I don’t think I’d trade it for the world. 

I traveled from May 2008 to April 2009. It was seriously epic for me. I like to think I'm pretty street savvy but really, I'm pretty naive when it comes to certain things. I thought that after coming to America and navigating life here on my own (for the most part), I was ready for anything. Home sickness? Hah! Getting scammed? Double Hah! Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I really really thought I'd be ready for anything else the world would throw at me after my experiences in the states because, seriously, they were some of the shadiest years of my life (mostly due to my surroundings and the crazies my granduncle attracts like flies. The man is like a saint. Seriously. Who the heck puts up with that many insane people?!?). Even then, shady for me is probably tame compared to how bad others have it but then again, it is pretty shady for someone who came here to study. 

America IS a land of opportunity but it totally goes both ways - while you're trying to take whatever opportunity the land of the free is willing to offer (and then some), there are so many more people who are willing to grab their opportunity at your expense. Believe me, I've been taken advantage of enough times that if I were inclined to be bitter about it, I'd say that I've been used like a three dollar whore, except for the part that involves sex or the part that involves payment. BUT, I'm not bitter like that so it doesn't matter :D (really, I'm not. I've just always wanted to use that expression in a sentence somewhere and truthfully, where else would I get the chance to use it in polite society if not in my blog while I'm ranting? lol. I have a growing collection of expressions that I've picked up here and there which I'm saving for that epic novel I'm writing in my head that will never be put to paper). 


Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah, I guess America should be counted as traveling experience but I was so busy (and lacking funds) that until this year, I've never been out of California. Yep. 5 years and the only time I traveled out of the state was with my team which went something like this - aeroplane > motel > field where we kick ass/get our asses kicked > motel > aeroplane. If this counts as traveling, then I've been to Albuquerque, NM and Vancover, Canada. Even so, that's just sad. 

Regardless of where I've been in America, I thought my stint here had amply prepared me for traveling in foreign lands but in reality, not so much. Denmark was a little like america all over again; people are really nice for the most part but there are always a few scumbags out there who will try to take advantage of someone new to the country. I suppose this just comes with the territory when moving to a new country. Traveling however, is different from moving somewhere; and that's the real kicker. I'd say traveling on my own for a portion of it really made the difference even more pronounced. So, yeah, there were ups and downs and when I look back on it, I really want to kick myself for being so naive and letting people take advantage of me then feeling guilty (it doesn't make sense, i know) and upset. Was I ready to brave the world on my own? Probably not. But then again, who is? I'm glad I did it though. I've learnt a lot, especially from the bad bits and while I can't guarantee I won't be taken unawares again due to my ongoing battle with chronic obliviousness, I'll be more prepared to handle whatever comes up the next time. Hopefully. Oh, and I probably wouldn't travel through something like 63 cities/towns/villages in about 15 countries in 3 months. I've been burnt out and slowly recovering ever since. 

That said, this is the start of an account of my year country hopping. Hopefully I'll be able to get a travel post up every few days, interspersed with random rants and food posts. 

Enjoy.

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And another one bites the dust....

So, just found out another high school classmate of mine got hitched. O.o  Congrats man!

And the first one to get married has a child now. Again, O.o

Is there some biological clock out there that's ticking and I'm just not aware of it?

The friend who alerted me to this change in status for our mutual childhood compadre asked me to hook him up if he ever came to the states when i jokingly asked him when he was going to settle down. I mentally went through my American friend list, then scrolled through my facebook friend list to double check said list and the reality of it all is........ I don't have many friends who are straight and single and looking to settle down. I figure about 70-80% of my friends are cute gay boys who would be perfect, except for the part that they don't date girls, or lesbians. This means we're both out of luck. (and people ask me why I'm single.....) Friends have been suggesting match.com and what not. But I'm not that desperate. yet. or ever.

LOL. I basically told him that I could hook him up with lesbians but my straight, single asian girl collection is limited. And like the (arrogant) straight male he is (who has read and practiced the wisdom of "the Game"), he proclaims that lesbians are okay; he's never tried one but he thinks he can turn 'em. LOL. OH Jon... somewhere out there, there are women who want to beat you up.

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The game was good. We won the championship back. Lots of hard hits, a couple of cheap shots, a body or two flung around and some pretty good rugby. Oh yeah, two shirts got ripped. lol. A little too much kicking for me though...it's not as exciting when the ball gets kicked back and forth but I guess needs must and all that since both teams were fairly evenly matched and there wasn't much scoring. My sis thought it was funny when ppl got squished (literally at one point in the game) and didn't really understand what was going on but she's an awesome trooper for bunking down in the cold with me to watch a bunch of guys run around on the field :)

gonna start putting up the travel stuff once I get over my intense dislike of the pic uploader that blogger torments me with.

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It's the simple pleasures in life that make me feel accomplished

Got my taxes done today at the library :) I love that they do it for free....but it's pretty sad too because that means I'm earning peanuts. I didn't realisze why one of my co-workers was so disgruntled that we were being paid as contractors but now I understand - it's costly for the contractor!! It's the first time I've ever ended up owing the government! >:( But the lady who did my taxes was super nice and helped me work out how to bring it down by calculating my expenses and all that. Don't ask me how....I have absolutely no idea how it works.

Since I was already at the library, I ended up spending a couple of hours worth of quality time there (and by a couple I mean I spent about 6 hours there until they kicked me out at closing time). I have an ongoing love affair with libraries - put me in one and you don't have to worry about me until you remember that you left me there or closing time.....whichever one comes first :) The best part?? Libraries are universal! Wherever they are in the world, they always carry an english book or two :) While I was traveling in Europe, the libraries were my fav places of all time cos they were so awesome - I've found shelter in them (when it was snowing really bad and I was freezing my butt off), I've slept in them (40 winks or so), I've enjoyed the free internet and people watching, I've killed time wandering around and reading random things....oh, and I guess the research thing is a plus too. Heck, at one point I had about 30-40 books in my room from the main library in Copenhagen and lemme tell you, the 30 odd books were hell to return when you factor in me with my dubious balancing skills, my rusty old bike, the long (to me at least) bike ride and that damned bridge I had to cross! Anyway, I came away with 11 hardcover books today which has me totally psyched! I'm totally getting my geek on. Why can't I get this way for non-leisure reading??

Beyond that, is it sad that this was one of the few excursions I've voluntarily undertaken in a while? (especially since I prolly wouldn't have left the house if I didn't urgently need to do my taxes) Guys, do you know what this means???

It's possible that my self-imposed HIBERNATION IS OVER!! yay! spring has come and all that jazz.....Slowly but surely, I'm being reintroduced to society :p Looking forward to catching up with the girls on Tues :D And starting the cooking craze I can feel creeping up on me (and the 7 cookbooks I checked out today). Life is good :D

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love is in the air~

Lolz. Merv just got home from a date and really, when I ask how it went, I don't want any details other than 'fine' or 'not good' or whatever. NO DETAILS PLS! ewwww. As far as I'm concerned, all my sibs are like the immaculate virgin - immaculate and virgins (but without the whole pregnancy thing going on). This will hold true even if they are married with 10 children. *puts fingers in ears* ~ lalalalala canthearyouimnotlistening ~ So, am now slightly scarred for life but somehow, I'll survive.

His story is actually kinda funny but totally expected (for me at least) considering where he works. This (semi-regular) girl came into the Starbucks he works at and asked for his number. lol. Yeah, he got hit on at work :D haha. But I've seen it happen alot when I did my starbucks stint so I wasn't all that surprised. Meanwhile, some of his friends are lamenting the fact that they are surrounded by what these fellows term 'non-eligibles' at work and how they never meet girls. They should just go work in a coffee shop.

Besides that, something must be going around this week cos my sis ended up on a date she didn't really know was a date until much later. 2nd valentines day coming around??

Man, it's totally sad that I'm living vicariously through my sis AND my bro. Of all ppl, my bro! Where's cupid when you need him to shoot you in the ass with one of those damned arrows?!? It might help if I wasn't a penniless hermit living in isolation but, eh......with my luck, I'd get a creepy, crazy weirdo so I guess I'm better off where I am - alone on the couch. lol.

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panic at the disco.... give me five minutes to spaz out!

i've got a couple posts just waiting to be published....the LA trip from last weekend, some angsty self-reflective type posts that I'm still debating on whether to unleash on ppl (my emo-ness is fleeting but can be kinda intense and is usually a very very private deal for me), the travel series that is sitting, novel sized, in msword and being added to daily and etc. Mostly, I'm waiting for the pics before I post anything travel related. Where's the fun in talking about a place when there's no way to see it? Descriptive prose is great and all but I totally do not want to be like Tolkien.

I do have an update on school stuff tho. Illinois-Chicago said no. Not surprising. I expected it and it sounds rather spoilt of me to say that I wouldn't have wanted to go there anyway if they had said yes but that was my pov halfway thru the admissions process especially since the prof I was looking to work under did not respond to any inquiries whatsoever. What kind of message does that give prospective students? That and the fact that the anthro dept ppl there were total asses on the phone (I called to clarify some things about the admissions process way back when and was totally put off by the lady who talked to me like I was a particularly stupid child) meant that I was not looking to get in there but went through with the process anyway since I had already paid for it and paid for my transcripts to be sent there. If no money was involved, I would not have bothered. I still get huffy when I think about how bitchy that lady was on the phone. meh.

Hawaii....I don't even know anymore. They managed to not receive any of my transcripts and claimed they were missing a recommendation more than a month after apps were due. I've done everything I can on my side but I think I'm pretty much screwed. However, hope springs eternal, right?

Anyway, what's got me in a snit is that the prof in charge of the Angkor project sent out an email to me and some of the other participants to obtain more info from us for apps and passes and all that. That's great.....except she did it by forwarding the entire conversation I had with her prior to the email going out. So everyone on the email list read the convo and I'm really not happy about that at all. It had stuff like my GPA, who I've worked with so far, my resume attached, where I've applied, etc.

Yeah. I think it's really not done to do that.

Guess what happens after? I get this random email from one of the dudes on the email list saying he read the convo (ooh, big surprise there....but he did apologise for being nosy so, eh) and wanted to say hi because we're both Malaysian and he's going to Angkor and he applied to UW too. Urm. yeah. So what is the unintended side effect of this guy's casual email?? The loss of hope, that's what.  With one simple email, he totally crushes my hopes of getting into UW because apparently, he's a MA student at USM and is on the waitlist with me for a spot at UW. What's the problem, you ask? Well, I was banking on the fact that I was South East Asian/ Malaysian and the possibility of the uni doing work in Malaysia to give me an edge and the fact that I had visited and met the profs. Now, I find out that one of the ppl I'm up against is also Malaysian, has more experience in the area than I do along with definite contacts in Malaysia (my contacts are...urm....pending....), is more qualified (once he finishes his MA thesis this year), is going to work with UW at the fieldschool in the Philippines starting this week and has gone to all the regional conferences where he's met all the profs and even presented.

...........

Talk about being blindsided. So now, I have no edge whatsoever over the competition and overall, I'm less qualified. They should just send me the rejection already and be done with it.

I'm DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!

Well, that was part of my little spazzy panic attack when I got that email from him. Talk about a downer. But all is not lost, otherwise, I wouldn't be on the list up against super qualified ppl like that. Still crossing my fingers and toes. Maybe they'll be like....oh, this one has less experience = more trainable... and pick me. lol. who knows? could happen. here's to hoping but i ain't gonna spend anymore time spazzing out about it. It's times like this when I'm really grateful for my whatever attitude and total faith in well....fate and in karma and all that good stuff. If it was meant to be, it'll happen.....if not, something else just as great will creep up and boink me when I least expect it :) now, i gotta go look for cookies to console myself with. I love how my (sorta) angsty moments are wonderful excuses to ply myself with food :D

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reassessment...could this be my pre-quarter life crisis?

These last few months have given me a lot of thinking time and I've had the opportunity for quite a few candid chats with various people including my sister. That plus going through my memorabilia and trying to sort it all out for scrapbooking and blogging and just sighing in nostalgia have caused me to reassess my plans and back up plans (of which I have many, some of them highly unlikely, some of them distinctly implausible).

I'm feeling restless and now i'm not too sure if grad school would be the right option for me. Will that mean that I will reject an offer? I can't honestly answer that question. Does that mean I've heard back? No, not at all. If anything, decisions have been pushed back even further and I won't find out about acceptances or rejections until the end of this month or later.

Regardless, I feel a little helpless....like I'm drifting on a tide somewhere with no destination in sight. At this point, I'm kinda ready to say fuck it (oooh, notice the lack of self censorship? yeah, I can't be bothered anymore) and just go sign up for one of those work/travel things because I've been looking at the programs for quite a bit and the itch to wander is starting to get to me. Most of these opportunities to be a vagabond have age requirements that have gotten me thinking...there's so much to do in life and so little time, do I really want to waste it locked down somewhere stuffy for years on end? I'm thinking of starting up dance classes and hitting the gym and picking up sports (old or new) and volunteering and going back to community college for certifications in technical stuff that would be useful for the career if the whole grad school thing doesn't work out but above and beyond that, I want to do something for myself. Something fun without it having to lead to anything. *sighs wistfully* I used to do that but I got so caught up in societies demands and the judgment and all that crap.....nothing is fun anymore.

Soooooooo, pole dancing classes anyone? Or maybe llama herding in Peru?

My bucket list is starting to come together and that damn movie might have a point after all.

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Ahhh, memories. I'm so glad to have them...

was cleaning out the old blog and found many, many priceless gems from my college escapades. I crack myself up sometimes :D will have to post some here for old time's sake.

I was also watching my bellydance videos from my stint as an exotic dancer in the small retirement town of Novato, California and felt bad for myself...gosh, it was pretty darn bad in a cheesy sort of way. I mean, some of us have always been kinda iffy about the choreography that our troupe leader puts together but I never really realized how absolutely ridiculous some of the moves are. I do have to say that her veil work (what she's known for) is pretty kick ass but everything else made me want to meep and hide while watching it. And the costumes......oh gawd....in a troupe with mostly middle aged, overweight, white women....they were planned to hide stuff/blind ppl with reflective materials rather than reveal ...things...and it shows. I don't think I would try wearing the stuff for halloween which means that I have two fairly unusable costumes for home use.... hmmm.... perhaps, cleaning the house and rocking out to middle eastern songs might be combined? haha
embarrassing
I do have to say that I've got better control of my hips, isolations and butt now than I ever did back then :) maybe i'll return to the world of exotic dancing when I start earning enough money to pay for troupe rehearsals....I do kinda miss it alot.

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