youtube + emails = introspective?

I've been spending a lot of time on youtube. There are a lot of ridiculous people out there just waiting to entertain me with their random talents and antics :D It kinda makes me think about my own talents and antics.... like being able to sort rocks in a short amount of time....and (totally unrelated), throwing them at ppl....urm, yeah.  Just got an email from my advisor listing the new students coming in under her with a message to contact them and welcome them. I'm all for it. I love showing people around and helping them get adjusted. Seriously, just give me a soapbox right now; I'd happily prattle for hours. If this academic gig ever bombed, I'd be great supervising refugee camps or integrating new immigrants or something. lol. I'm actually really excited about the coming year and I know I'm going to be exploring the island a lot more since my roomie from last year's excavation at Angkor is going to be here for a year on the Luce program. Mita is awesome and we're totally gonna have a blast.

But, this message kinda twinges. It's one of those times when some of that low self-esteem left over from my middle/high school days rears its ugly head. I think about how the past and future students coming into the program all received/will receive such a welcome or something like it and wonder why I didn't qualify for one. I'm doing great in the here and now and life has always had a way of falling into place exceptionally well for me but sometimes it's the little things that make me wonder why I keep getting left behind every so often; why I seem to lose out on certain aspects of life that I never realize I'm missing out on until after the fact. It's a little funny and I'm positive a large part of it is just me being oblivious but it does make me wonder. I'm sure it happens to all of us at some point but it doesn't stop me from feeling sad for a little bit. It does however, make me count my blessings and be thankful for everything in life, every person I've met and every experience - good and bad. It reminds me to get off my butt and appreciate living life; to try and live it to the fullest extent.

Lol. there's my little introspective spiel on easter sunday.  Happy Easter guys!