Well, it's two weeks into the new year and I can't say that it hasn't been interesting.
Despite the unexpected death of our grandpa just after Christmas, we managed to get to Van's in SF for New Year's since Wen was visiting and they wanted to go somewhere that was not suburbia. It was tons of fun with fun 'gay boy approved' music (I don't care what that weird straight boy said. Pop is the way to go :D), dancing, booze, hookah, the prerequisite shady Russian dudes and best of all, GREAT FRIENDS to share it all with. I've never actually partied with my sis so it was fun! The rest of the week was spent taking Wen around and running errands up.
Grandpa's funeral was last week on the 8th and was pretty quick and simple. A kind of mishmash where East meets West. My aunt came in from Texas and made us ferry her around to take care of all the details. We were honestly kinda peeved that she made us run around and all that since everything was pretty much take care of. Said she didn't want us to feel left out. Our response? We would have LOVED it if she just took over and we didn't have to keep going up to Marin. Didn't tell her that, of course (good little asian kids that we are). but our dad agreed with her (and she wouldn't take no for an answer)so, my sis and I dropped Merv off at work at 5am and drove up to Marin, spending a good part of it napping in the car before we had to meet them at 9am. Okay, enough with the ranting and onto the funeral.
It was a dank and slightly miserable day - equal parts fog and drizzle. We went to the funeral home first for our private family goodbyes then Merv (Charl and I volunteered his services since he wasn't able to be there for the family bonding moments we had with our aunt) lit the incense stick and asked grandpa's spirit to follow us to the cemetery.
Got everything set up for the viewing in the chapel and when all the usual suspects showed up (apparently I was the only one who didn't notice Uncle Ray's bling shoes), we got things started. My aunt went up and gave a little speech; mostly to thank people for coming and helping grandpa when he was alive. My dad was texting us his speech (he couldn't email/fax it for some reason)and I got a nasty look + reprimand from Jeannette since it looked like I was fooling around in the back. Seriously?!? I would have loved to smack her but settled on a nasty look back. Grrr. I had to appreciate the irony of the situation though. Jeannette giving me a lesson on decorum. Hah! Whatever. Anyway, I went up to make dad's speech and the phone rings. Oh dad. It was embarrassing and funny at the same time. I asked him if he wanted to be put on speaker phone but he said no so I read his speech out. I thought it was touching since it was more of an eulogy and was somewhat wistful. I added in my two cents on behalf of the grandkids then asked if anyone else wanted to speak. Uncle ray, unable to resist, went up to the podium and put in his two cents as well. It was kinda funny and at some point he lost me but at least he tried.
The procession then moved to the gravesite where those big red chinese candles and joss sticks were lit and hell money (including prints of a thousand usd) were burnt as the casket was lowered. Carnations were thrown in and that was that. Like I said, an interesting mix of East and West.
I guess the best thing that came out of a crappy thing like a funeral is that family comes together, no matter how much they dislike or are indifferent to each other. It's sad that grandpa passed away but we have managed to reconnect with the various family members.
It's mellowed the old people out a little bit to realize how entirely mortal they are. The grudges seem to have been pushed out of the way a little and I think we're back in the family loop now. Maybe. The crazy aunt doesn't seem so bad anymore, just a little lonely and I just realized how much my dad has changed in the last few years. We also went out for drinks with some of our distant cousins and got to know them better which is awesome.
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