2012 in review

This is going to be kinda disjointed. I'm.....not sure what I am feeling right now. Stressed, hopeful, frustrated, elated, tired, happy, disappointed, cynical, amused, annoyed, satisfied, sad, headachy or a combination of all the above with many more mixed in. Is it even possible to feel all of that at once? I wish there was a single word that would explain exactly how I feel. I'm too distracted to focus on aimlessly surfing the internet but I feel the need to just talk about something other than the last hour or two of my life that I've wasted trying to be nice while not allowing my life to be put on hold for the convenience of someone else. Bear with me.

December has been crazy. I think I've been more social in the last month than I have in the last few semesters. In some ways, it's like undergrad all over again. lol. The semester ended on a fairly hectic but good note. I've done a bit of going around the island, mostly to show people around (which, unfortunately, isn't as fun as one would think) and hung out with people without deadlines hanging over my head. Although, that said, I've got the mother of all deadlines plaguing me right now and I'm nowhere near done. How I'm supposed to hand in the final draft of my thesis in mid-late Jan, I don't know. To make matters worse, my computer is spazzing on me >.< Here's to hoping it'll last until the end of the upcoming Spring semester.




Christmas was good. Pretty chill even with the crazy ham impulse buy (20 pounds!! wtf do I need with 20 lbs of ham?!?) and the stress baking. I've got 4 kinds of cookies, a cheesecake and brownies. And a whole lotta ham. It's pretty redic.

Finally got my birthday/christmas present in the mail today! My shiny new pole is here!! so stoked to put it up!! :D

I can't believe we're almost done with 2012 though.

When I look back, this year has definitely been one filled with ups and downs and whatnot. It started out so well then went to shit and is now starting to even out. The first part of the year was probably my hardest semester in grad school. Mostly because of the trouble I was having with a prof's teaching methods. I have to admit, at one point, I was pretty ready to throw in the towel and say fuck the scholarship because it really wasn't worth it. Not to mention the problems I had with a promising friendship that pretty much went down the drain. So, yeah, a super negative semester that was topped off with the anxiety of producing the thesis and thinking about the future.

Summer helped a bit in that I got to relax at home, make new friends and meet with old ones, and eat awesome food. The research bit in Cambodia was a mixed experience for sure. From a learning standpoint, it was a really good experience but the stress of being introduced to the joy of "office politics" and trying not to drown under a pretty ambitious project put a damper on the whole summer.

Being able to talk to other people who have been in my shoes during summer helped with the whole thesis anxiety and the second semester of the year started off on a high note. Roomie issues brought it down but eventually it evened out. I got through the semester with fewer battle scars than before and then got caught up in the social wave that is pole and rugby combined. A week or two ago, I thought that all in all, it wasn't a bad way to end the year. Spoke too fast I guess. Grandpa passed away just before Christmas and then today, it looks like my roomie troubles are back on track :/

I guess, I just have to buckle down for the rollercoaster that 2013 looks to be. Already I can tell that it's going to be a little insane. I've got about 3 weeks to write my entire thesis. Then back and forth with the editing and revisions before I defend in March >.< then off to KK for a wedding and back in time for the SAAs. Summer is still up in the air, as is the rest of my future. There are quite a few options but......we'll see how it goes. There's a good chance I'll be down in Mexico excavating for a month before I head back to Cambodia for 2 months of Angkor again if I can make it happen. Or I could be enslaved in a CRM job. Who knows. I sure as hell don't. Beyond summer, I don't know where my life is going. I'm pretty sure existential crisis #2 should be happening sometime next semester since I'm feeling the inklings of it even now.

So yeah, 2012 was crazy and it's not quite over just yet. I predict 2013 will be even more insane. Here's to hoping that I get through it intact. Things usually work out for me but I'm still crossing my fingers. The luck, I'm going to needs it.  

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one year older, not necessarily wiser

I think facebook is fascinating. Especially around birthday time. I love that it connects me with family and friends however far away.....and that I can fb stalk people. Don't judge. Everyone does it. Fb is the ultimate in privacy invasion. It's kinda awesome in a bad way :) I always think it's interesting to see who on fb drops by with a birthday greeting. Usually it's the typical suspects of family and friends which is always great. However, you also get randos who are obviously friends, but not close friends. I always wonder if they wander over to say happy birthday because fb tells them it's my birthday, if they're stalking me, or if fb's newsfeed just brings it up based on how many mutual friends write on that particular wall. Hmm. Who knows? Whatever it is, it's usually interesting to see people you think don't like you/are not close to you say hi. lol. It's not a bad thing, just interesting.

The birthday was mellow. I decided to say eff the fact that it's about time for finals by not doing anything the whole day. I baked and lounged around. And the housemates, busy with their last day of classes/working on finals, were conspicuously gone the entire day. It was awesome!! It's funny because people kept asking how I partied it up on my birthday when all I wanted was to have peace and quiet :) I did however, sandwich that awesome day of mellowness with a day of hanging out at Anna's and another of more Anna's and hitting Waiks. Sigh, every time I think waikiki is alright, I get there and wonder why I thought that :P Definitely a love hate relationship with sleezy waiks and its horrendous parking situation. 

In other news, I usually ignore the age thing cos I can't be bothered with how old I get. Except that apparently I'm heading into early puma-hood (because cougars = married/over 40? and pumas = single/late 20s/30s?)........urm....idek. Why are all the good ones taken and the attractive ones just coming out of jailbaitland? haha I told my sister that I feel like a dirty old woman. lol. But really, you'd have to be blind not to be tempted :D Note to self: do not ask how old that hot young thing is. It'll only end in thoughts of early pumahood. 

One year older, somewhat wiser, possibly tempted into early pumahood. Yay birthday 2012!

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almost done with this one

Can't believe the semester is close to over. It feels like I'm not sure where all the time went but then again, I do.

I've spent time researching poles and how to get one to Hawaii at minimal cost. I've spent time learning how to teach pole. I've spent time in school trying to make it through the semester even though it feels like I checked out a few weeks ago. I've spent time play some rugby. I've spent time hanging out with people and eating a ton of food. Can't say it wasn't time spent well but everything has gone by so fast.

The other day I checked my credit report and was told I have excellent credit. Yay? If only I had the money to back that up :)

Thanksgiving was mellow and I cooked my first ever turkey! Don't really know if I ever want to cook one again. First of all, it cut me as I was stuffing it. Even in death, turkies (what is the plural or trukey??) can apparently still get revenge. Secondly, I had leftovers for days. Ewww. Leftover turkey is not really my thing for more than a day. Next time, it's going to be thanksgiving ham or chicken. It's really not worth it otherwise.

Went to Kona last weekend for rugby. The girls didn't end up playing but it was a good bonding experience and we had a blast. I mean, a house full of very fit half naked guys who insist on keeping their shirts off? Who wouldn't? But really, all ogling aside, I've missed the rugby traditions of kangaroo court and drinking songs. And the idiotic hilarity of 20 plus people combined with about $500 worth of alcohol set up in a beertub. Classic. More importantly, I was introduced to the Zulu Warrior tradition (must be a guy rugby thing?) which involved beer and fruit and streaking (not me, other people) :D Totally an awesome weekend, I haven't stopped grinning :DD

My only complaint is that everything seems to be happening during the last week of school and finals week. Blurgh. So much to do, so little time. I can't wait to be done next week. Imma take a couple days to recuperate before diving into completing the thesis. I've got about a month, more than half of it to write still and I'm just waiting for the rush of the semester to end before I freak out. The good news is that the house is going to be half empty so I get to have quiet cram time for a bit. Can't wait. 

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