2012 in review

This is going to be kinda disjointed. I'm.....not sure what I am feeling right now. Stressed, hopeful, frustrated, elated, tired, happy, disappointed, cynical, amused, annoyed, satisfied, sad, headachy or a combination of all the above with many more mixed in. Is it even possible to feel all of that at once? I wish there was a single word that would explain exactly how I feel. I'm too distracted to focus on aimlessly surfing the internet but I feel the need to just talk about something other than the last hour or two of my life that I've wasted trying to be nice while not allowing my life to be put on hold for the convenience of someone else. Bear with me.

December has been crazy. I think I've been more social in the last month than I have in the last few semesters. In some ways, it's like undergrad all over again. lol. The semester ended on a fairly hectic but good note. I've done a bit of going around the island, mostly to show people around (which, unfortunately, isn't as fun as one would think) and hung out with people without deadlines hanging over my head. Although, that said, I've got the mother of all deadlines plaguing me right now and I'm nowhere near done. How I'm supposed to hand in the final draft of my thesis in mid-late Jan, I don't know. To make matters worse, my computer is spazzing on me >.< Here's to hoping it'll last until the end of the upcoming Spring semester.




Christmas was good. Pretty chill even with the crazy ham impulse buy (20 pounds!! wtf do I need with 20 lbs of ham?!?) and the stress baking. I've got 4 kinds of cookies, a cheesecake and brownies. And a whole lotta ham. It's pretty redic.

Finally got my birthday/christmas present in the mail today! My shiny new pole is here!! so stoked to put it up!! :D

I can't believe we're almost done with 2012 though.

When I look back, this year has definitely been one filled with ups and downs and whatnot. It started out so well then went to shit and is now starting to even out. The first part of the year was probably my hardest semester in grad school. Mostly because of the trouble I was having with a prof's teaching methods. I have to admit, at one point, I was pretty ready to throw in the towel and say fuck the scholarship because it really wasn't worth it. Not to mention the problems I had with a promising friendship that pretty much went down the drain. So, yeah, a super negative semester that was topped off with the anxiety of producing the thesis and thinking about the future.

Summer helped a bit in that I got to relax at home, make new friends and meet with old ones, and eat awesome food. The research bit in Cambodia was a mixed experience for sure. From a learning standpoint, it was a really good experience but the stress of being introduced to the joy of "office politics" and trying not to drown under a pretty ambitious project put a damper on the whole summer.

Being able to talk to other people who have been in my shoes during summer helped with the whole thesis anxiety and the second semester of the year started off on a high note. Roomie issues brought it down but eventually it evened out. I got through the semester with fewer battle scars than before and then got caught up in the social wave that is pole and rugby combined. A week or two ago, I thought that all in all, it wasn't a bad way to end the year. Spoke too fast I guess. Grandpa passed away just before Christmas and then today, it looks like my roomie troubles are back on track :/

I guess, I just have to buckle down for the rollercoaster that 2013 looks to be. Already I can tell that it's going to be a little insane. I've got about 3 weeks to write my entire thesis. Then back and forth with the editing and revisions before I defend in March >.< then off to KK for a wedding and back in time for the SAAs. Summer is still up in the air, as is the rest of my future. There are quite a few options but......we'll see how it goes. There's a good chance I'll be down in Mexico excavating for a month before I head back to Cambodia for 2 months of Angkor again if I can make it happen. Or I could be enslaved in a CRM job. Who knows. I sure as hell don't. Beyond summer, I don't know where my life is going. I'm pretty sure existential crisis #2 should be happening sometime next semester since I'm feeling the inklings of it even now.

So yeah, 2012 was crazy and it's not quite over just yet. I predict 2013 will be even more insane. Here's to hoping that I get through it intact. Things usually work out for me but I'm still crossing my fingers. The luck, I'm going to needs it.