why does grad school feel like grade school sometimes?

lol. just got my co-editorial position revoked in a random apologetic and rambly (is that a word?) email. i know I should probably be pissed but personally, I think it's hilarious and I don't mind at all. Fact is, I never did anything at all....mostly because the main guy in charge who elected me into that position (notice I didn't actually volunteer for it) didn't delegate. And now he thinks it wouldn't be fair to the others to allow me to be credited as such. But I will be credited accordingly for the work I did do. lol. dude, seriously? I'm not gonna be butt hurt about it so quit with the lame apologetic email. Sometimes I feel like I'm in grade school and not grad school; gotta be oh so careful about other people's feelings and egos so as to not stunt their development and all that crap. Honestly, I'd prefer not to be credited at all. I don't want to be mean or anything but I was talking with one or two of the other staff editors and we all agree that we are slightly ashamed to be connected with this years publication in the first place because the editing jobs were horrible (seriously, you couldn't tell that some of them had been edited several times or at all during the final edits!) and I thought a lot of the topics were kinda lame and not very well written and we didn't weed them out enough (accepting more mediocre papers because it's an online publication  and it'll help these students get published doesn't justify lowering standards). But that's just me. lol. Frankly, at this point, apart from my grades, I really don't care about anything school related anymore.

2 more days till I'm done and 3 more days till I'm back in the Bay! As much as I've come to like Hawaii this semester, I'll be glad for some time in the bay with friends and family.

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halfway there :)

Almost done. There past few days have seriously sucked. All because I procrastinated like mad. I need to learn how to be on top of things because writing papers at 4 am the day they are due is not as fun as it would seem.

Anyway, totally random but I totally found and picked up and am now eating TWO green mangoes that I found on the road by my neighbour's house. I've been eyeing his mango tree even since I discovered it was a mango tree a few weeks ago. And now, SUCCESS!!!! Green mango rojak!! (cos really, who needs the other fruit to enjoy rojak?) lol

Which brings me to my habit of trying to eat stuff off of trees. Have I mentioned how it makes me totally happy to find something edible on a tree or plant and eat it?? lol. I guess Queena was right in calling me a monkey. I'm gonna have to redouble my efforts in staking out edible things in my neighbourhood/on campus. because I can. and it'll make me happy without resorting to drugs or alcohol. Anyway, this week has sucked so far but finding free green mangoes is awesome so it's all good. :D It really is the little things in life....

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seriously, wtf??!? What is with the end of the world type natural disasters?

So the power cut off around 5 ish and didn't come back on until like 8pm. Not too bad but it's the first time something like this has happened and we didn't know how long it would last.

Of course it had to happen when I have a final and powerpoint presentation due.

And of course, it had to happen just before dinner. Because if cooking wasn't already fun, try doing in the dark is even better. For some reason, it's kinda hard to tell if water is boiling in the dark, especially when it's storming. I'm super thankful for the fact that the stove is gas. Otherwise, I'd starve. for realz. 'Cause I haven't been grocery shopping in close to 3 weeks and all I have is canned or dried stuff. I think it is safe to say that my tendency to stock up on food has saved me from starvation many, many times. Too bad none of it can be eaten as is. Hence the cooking in the dark.

Anyway, power came back on and that was awesome. I went online to check what was up with the screwy electricity. Turns out it was only just a LIGHTNING STORM/TORNADO/WATERSPOUT thingy...no big deal, whatev.........

No seriously, WHAT??

First a tsunami (and while Honolulu wasn't hit badly, a couple houses and cars got washed into the sea on some of the other islands. seriously, sucks for them. how do you recoup your stuff/mortgage/losses when your beach front property is under water/bobbing along in the ocean?) and now a couple of waterspouts/tornados??!?

WTF. It's like, welcome to paradise! Here, have a little sun, sand, TASTE OF THE APOCALYPSE, waves, hula, island music. Aloha and Mahalo. Hope you enjoyed your stay!

Come on Hawaii, the world can end after I'm done with finals. Gimme three days and I won't mind sirens, natural disasters and blackouts. Promise.

Have to admit tho, the pictures are kinda pretty, slightly breathtaking. I can understand why some people chase storms. Here's what some friends took with their iphones from their dorm/on the street. And the bigger ones are what I got off the net.

        

 

Apparently this is a lightning storm over Kailua

This is Waikiki

 

Waikiki and downtown Honolulu

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like a goldfish...

Seriously, shortest attention span ever.

I've got 3 25 pg papers, 2 powerpoint presentations, a final and a ton of Khmer homework to catch up on ....all due within the next 6 days!!

Why was I stalking my new celeb crush last week instead of doing work??? Aahhhh.

Luckily, this insanity has only lasted for a week....I'm kinda over it now. Which is insane because seriously? GOLDFISH. and really, it's not all that different from my attention span regarding boys. lol. that says a lot about my dating life, doesn't it? Aside from my inability to keep an interest in the guys around me, the last week's been a bit nostalgic. I think the last time I had a celeb crush was in high school. aah, those were the days.....urm. yeah.

So really, what has this experience taught me?
a) I'm super shallow. lol. As attractive as someone's talent is, it's all about the looks. haha :p and yeah, it's really really hard to fangirl over someone who's physical attributes you can kinda admire but you're not really attracted to.
b) The fangirls/fanboys of today are very, very, very, very hardcore (especially in the tween age range. They are Crazy MoFos and are obsessive as heck!)  Meep. It scares me. Someone please tell me I was never as obsessive as that. If I were their parents, I'd invest in some very expensive, very intensive therapy asap. Hmm, makes me wonder about the numbers of psychos out there who start out as obsessive fans....or maybe I watch too many crime series...
c) I discovered twitter AND tumbler. At the same time. I still don't really know how it all works but it also freaks me out. I'm technologically challenged and in some ways I'm glad for it because my foray into the madness that is twitter AND tumbler (tumbler in particular) has shown me that technology has made it ridiculously easy to stalk someone (not that I didn't realize this before....I just didn't realize how hardcore it was) 

Lol. And that ladies and gentlemen, was my daily musing on life/ random rant/words 'o wisdom/word vomit/i need to sleep to make sense moment because I'm procrastinating over trying to write a paper...one more weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek and it'll be over!! yay!

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youtube + emails = introspective?

I've been spending a lot of time on youtube. There are a lot of ridiculous people out there just waiting to entertain me with their random talents and antics :D It kinda makes me think about my own talents and antics.... like being able to sort rocks in a short amount of time....and (totally unrelated), throwing them at ppl....urm, yeah.  Just got an email from my advisor listing the new students coming in under her with a message to contact them and welcome them. I'm all for it. I love showing people around and helping them get adjusted. Seriously, just give me a soapbox right now; I'd happily prattle for hours. If this academic gig ever bombed, I'd be great supervising refugee camps or integrating new immigrants or something. lol. I'm actually really excited about the coming year and I know I'm going to be exploring the island a lot more since my roomie from last year's excavation at Angkor is going to be here for a year on the Luce program. Mita is awesome and we're totally gonna have a blast.

But, this message kinda twinges. It's one of those times when some of that low self-esteem left over from my middle/high school days rears its ugly head. I think about how the past and future students coming into the program all received/will receive such a welcome or something like it and wonder why I didn't qualify for one. I'm doing great in the here and now and life has always had a way of falling into place exceptionally well for me but sometimes it's the little things that make me wonder why I keep getting left behind every so often; why I seem to lose out on certain aspects of life that I never realize I'm missing out on until after the fact. It's a little funny and I'm positive a large part of it is just me being oblivious but it does make me wonder. I'm sure it happens to all of us at some point but it doesn't stop me from feeling sad for a little bit. It does however, make me count my blessings and be thankful for everything in life, every person I've met and every experience - good and bad. It reminds me to get off my butt and appreciate living life; to try and live it to the fullest extent.

Lol. there's my little introspective spiel on easter sunday.  Happy Easter guys!

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so totally not cool

Got woken up to the sounds of a hammer banging away and rapid fire Czech at like 7am. Okay. Whatever. Halfway through my shower I spied someone on the roof right outside the kitchen/bathroom window through the shower curtains. Apparently hyena girl's boyfriend was installing a mini air-cond in her room window (which is far enough away that he shouldn't have appeared in the bathroom window in the first place). I don't care if he was looking through the window or not. It is not okay to be hanging around a window when you know someone is showering! I don't care if you're about to fall off the roof! It would serve you right! Also, aren't you supposed to get permission before doing something like installing an aircond?!?

So, today started off with what was probably unintentional peeping (still doesn't make it right), hammering, sawing and about an hour ++ of listening to someone complain and whine in a foreign language. I totally want to punch both of them. repeatedly. in the nuts.

Why would you do this to me on my day off?? Whyyyyy??

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crunch time

Hmm, youtube is ruining my life! I can't help but watch random things instead of doing work that really, really needs to be done. I've got zero will power :/

Went for the Cambodian New Year celebrations this weekend when I should have been hard at work. Eh, oh well. It was good. Had some awesome food, saw some traditional performances and got to get to know some ppl a little better. The dances were alright but I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of Cambodian social dancing.... I dunno, the moves and music throw me off and I end up looking like a huge dork, well, a bigger dork than usual, on the dance floor. Not to mention my tendency to trip over little old Cambodian ladies who are gracefully getting their groove on. lol. I'm a right disaster on any Cambodian dance floor.

I can't believe how fast this sem has flown past. I've got less than a month to catch up on homework I've fallen terribly behind on, write my papers and take my exams. Then it's a whirlwind of packing up, flights and too short stays in some of my fav cities seeing some of my fav people. And Hugh Jackman. Yup, Charl n I have a sister's day out in SF planned and Hugh Jackman singing broadway is the perfect way to end the night :) I'm psyched to catch up with people in SF and KL and see + make new friends in Phnom Penh. I've never been but I've been promised a good time and great hidden food places :D It's Cambodia round two: The Phnom Penh edition and I'm hoping to be more on top of updates (meaning I'll finish the Siem Reap series after school is done...only like a year late, whatev :p) while traipsing all over the world. We'll see.

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yay....err, not quite...

Just got a small grant. Yay.

I think I might have to give it back because of the FLAS. Boo.

It's like telling someone Santa isn't real on Christmas day.

It makes me sad. Seriously, if I earned it, why can't I keep it? Some merit award this is.

Bah humbug.

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AAAHHHHH!!!! I GOT IT!!!

OMG!

I got both the summer 2011 AND the 2011-2012 academic FLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAHAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

This is AWESOME!!

I'm FULLY FUNDED for the next year starting this summer!

OMG. I totally need background music for how awesome life is right now! Seriously. Coincidentally, I've got Parisan fruit tarts and cheeseballs in the works right now. Gimme 20 mins and I'll be stuffing my face in JUBILATION! :D

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *runs around squealing in joy and flapping arms*

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Life is awesome when real peopleand activities are involved :D

School's been going well and Spring Break was a glorious week of doing absolutely nothing. Kinda like a normal week except I got to sleep in until  9am or 10am! I'm not sure what it is but there's something about Hawaii (or my schedule) where sleeping in until 8am is as good as it gets. Meh.

Anyway, I'm enjoying this semester (as packed as it is) a lot. I think it might have to do with my extracurriculars and finally socializing. This human interaction thing is great!

I really like my sewing class. Lol. I feel like an old grandma for saying that but it's pretty awesome to make something :) I'm almost done with the skirt I'm making. I might put up a pic if it turns out alright. The funny thing is, I was skyping Charl (first time in 3 yrs!) and when I showed her the material she totally called me out on the fact that my almost finished skirt....... is remarkably similar to my sheet set from Ikea that's on her bed. Urm. Coincidence? Lol. I swear it is! The fabric just happened to be the best looking one on sale so I got it. But it's a little depressing that my skirt could have had a separate life as a set of drapes or sheets. But hey, that's the fashion trend these days :)

The real saving grace, however, is the dance class I'm taking. Actually, I'm taking two. Lindy Hop is great and I'm impressed by how many guys can dance decently at the mixer after class (although partner dancing is, for me, a fairly awkward/uncomfortable thing to do and I'm slowly learning to get comfortable with it) but my true passion apparently lies with Pole Dancing.....for fitness.

Yup. That's right. Who would have thought that I'd find my calling in Pole Dance? Not me, for sure. The dancing thing takes a little effort but I totally rock the pole stuff though. =D I love the girls in my classes, the workout (esp core) is kickass AND fun, and I have to fight the urge to swing around every pole I see nowadays. Stop sign poles and the poles on buses/trains are especially tempting since they're about the right size. Lol. Seriously, if that's not love/passion, I don't know what is.

Most of my friends here who know are amused (or I guess bemused? if they don't know me so well) but whatever. So far, the common reaction is to ask if I'm preparing for an alternative career if this grad school thing doesn't work out. Personally, I think it's hilarious. And it's probably the best back up plan I could have in the case of a tanking academic career. Seriously. Those girls in Vegas totally have like two houses, a fleet of cars and all their loans paid off in a few years. I'm totally set if I have to do this school thing sans scholarship! (although, the scholarship would prolly be the better option than dancing in Sin City so y'all betta keep those fingers and toes crossed for me to get the academic FLAS). Hmm, on second thought, those girls have to strip too (we don't...if we don't want too. it is a fitness class after all)......I dunno....my dignity vs. being set for life......sigh, I suppose dignity wins hands down since I can always  fall back on the time honored tradition of marrying rich. lol.

So yeah, dancing with a pole :D and I guess my new (belated) addiction to Glee have gotten me into a rather upbeat mood these last few weeks. Life is awesome!

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sun, sand and surf...... it must be SPRING BREAK!!

Hana'uma Bay

Spring break is finally here! And it's really gotten off to a good start :D

I received a preliminary notice that says I'm very likely to get that scholarship for my summer intensive language program (although I've never had a preliminary notice given before. It's like a weird limbo; did I get it or not? This maybe, possibly, perhaps thing is really messing with me) AND I've been shortlisted for the academic year scholarship!! I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that announcing it here won't jinx it. Y'all betta cross yo fingers (and toes!) too cos this scholarship means $30k that'll cover my fees and living costs! I also got an acceptance letter for concurrent enrollment in a historic preservation certificate program through the Department of American Studies :) To top it all off, I finally made it out of Honolulu for a great day of hiking and snorkeling at the beach. The weeks leading up to spring break were kinda stressful since midterms and papers and proposals were due so it was really nice to unwind. Now THIS is the real Hawaiian paradise everyone keeps dreaming of, not that horribly crowded touristy crap at Waikiki.

The eastern-most point of O'ahu

Windward side of O'ahu

 With jenny and Josie on the Makapu'u trail. We saw 5 whales swim by!!

The lighthouse has the largest lens in all of America.....I think...

Is it sad that I've been here almost 7 months now and this is the second time I've hit the beach and the first time I've had to break out the bathing suit/actually get into the water? I obviously need to appreciate paradise more.

Great snorkeling at Hana'uma Bay

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the things i do for family....

 A couple weeks late, and somewhat bad timing (midterms anyone??) but Happy Belated CNY guys!!

It took HOURS, a crap load of butter (like a lot), baking late into the night (seriously, my housemates thought I was crazy) and sweatshop-like conditions (you have not seen my kitchen) = 200++ pineapple tarts. Did I mention I made two different types of tarts?? I had to sacrifice precious homework time (okay lah, in my schedule it's homework time, in reality it's surfing the web aimlessly time) so Charlynne, you betta appreciate this!!! If you ever wanted to know what a labor of love looked like, this is it! Pineapple tarts!

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ohhhhhh KARMA!

Man, this week has been pretty malang (in the broadest sense of the word) for me and some of my highschool friends. This bad luck we attribute to karma for making fun of certain people continuously. (It's prolly not karma at all but we like to have a scapegoat for our chronic unluckiness in life and love. We're trying to rehabilitate ourselves and be better people (I swear!!) but we can't help it when they make it soooooo easy. It's an issue of will power - we just don't have enough and can't resist.

Anyway, the karma manifests in different ways for us - some hilarious, some oddly painful and some, downright depressing. lol. It's gotten to be an ongoing phenomena that messes with our lives so much that we've started keeping a weekly score. Whomever "suffers" the worst karma "wins." I think this week's collective total is:

Jon managed to sustain an injury a day. No seriously, he got hurt at least once a day....which is kinda funny cos he's such a wuss about it.

Timun got an infection (I have no idea where and I don't really want to know) and had to work overtime then had to go for some company treasure hunt at 6am in the morning. I'll throw in her working CNY too just cos that kind of suckyness carries over.

Our resident KPC (kay po/ busybody) experienced an allergic reaction after eating expired (!!) abalone. (Seriously, wtf expired abalone?!?!)  Then she caught a cold and fever.

I grated my knuckle (yes, just one) while making lemon cream then proceeded to slice that same finger on the lid of a can while making hummus. Both were bleeders that did not help my culinary endeavors meaning that it took me twice as long to make food and i had to starve for like 3 hours longer than I should have.Then today, I get a creepy fb message from a fairly creepy highschool acquaintance I just added (only cos my other highschool friends added him. shit. should have just left him hanging with the rest of the creepers on the friend request page. and no, that's not mean at all. if they're still in limbo, they can't re-request after you ignore the first one. hah! take that facebook!).

That totally fulfilled the weekly quota of "random creepy message/friending from random creepy guy." Yeah, I have a weekly quota. Because apparently, the only guys who are ballsy enough to inquire about my availability are the ones nobody wants! wtf. seriously, fml. i need to work on this single thing. Especially since I have managed to fall down that magical rabbit hole to end up in a state where it seems like wearing a shirt is optional and people like to randomly strip. In fact, I'm pretty sure you can judge the distance to the beach (or if you're on the right bus heading to the beach) by how much (or little) people are wearing.

Anyway, if I manage to contract tetanus then I win hands down because that would be pretty tragic. If not, then I think KPC deserves to win this week's round cos seriously, EXPIRED ABALONE. 'Nuff said.

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Just keep nodding, maybe they'll go away...

If I'm getting loads of unsolicited advice, does it mean I'm finally making friends amongst the seniors in the department?? I dunno if that's a good thing or not. lol. I guess it's more amusing than not.

I just had like three people tell me that I'm doing too much and that I should cut back. And all I really told them was how many classes I'm taking. They tell me I need to drop something but really, I'm five weeks into the semester and I don't think that it's an option. The only reason I'm taking the extra classes in the first place is cos the professors aren't gonna teach them again any time soon or at all. Do I really need the two extra classes? No. Will they be super useful for what I do? Hell yeah. So that's that. It's nice that they care but I wish they'd do it in less of a holier-than-thou way. Yeah, they're seniors in the department and they mean well but when they hand out the advice, some of them tend to make me feel like I'm that one special kid who eats paste and boogers in the back of the class and they need to edumacate me cos they know it's going to melt my brain or something. One of them was like "if your advisor were here she wouldn't let you do this". lol. What are we? 5? Seriously, I'm taking extra classes, not doing crack and smoking joints. I'm aware of my limits and I may be pushing them but then again I've done worse and I'll (theoretically) have a summer to recover.

Yeah, i guess my body is hinting at stress (carb and salt cravings!! although, that could totally mean something else...like a rare and tragic disease or whatever. eh.) but honestly, apart from the perpetual tiredness and bloody early starts, it feels great to be busy and doing things :)

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cravings

normally, cravings = pregnant......yeah, not happening any time soon.

according to google (yea, i googled it), carb and salt cravings = stress and exhaustion. who knew??


btw, Happy CNY!!! i was too tired/didn't have time to bake any CNY goodies in time for CNY but I'm determined to have my pineapple tarts and cornflake cookies soon. like this week. even if it means blowing off the 103 (yes, 103!! O.o) readings i've fallen behind on reading. that sense of accomplishment i felt for buying all the damn books and downloading/printing all the readings apparently doesn't extend to actually doing them. lol. it seems my slacker ways are still going strong. dang.

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